Chapter 254

[YOO JAY’S POV]

“This happened because I talked about Yuseong-hyung, didn’t it?”

“…No.”

I didn’t ask that question looking for an answer.

But my hyung desperately shook his head and denied my words.

He must have done it so I wouldn’t feel guilty. Seeing him utter such meaningless lies just to be considerate of my feelings, even in this situation, felt so cruel that I couldn’t help but laugh.

‘Normally, he hates saying even one empty word to please others.’

“…Lies.”

But even after hearing the obvious lie, I just let it go.

From the moment Lee Saehwa rushed out in a panic, I had a gut feeling that something dangerous was about to happen to my hyung. After all, the only things that ever made that man look anxious were those concerning my hyung’s safety.

Hair that had been in contact with salt water would become stiff and coarse due to the salt’s damaging effects.

The platinum hair I caught a glimpse of was exactly in that state.

‘He went into the sea.’

A person who had lost both his younger brother and father to the sea in succession, and was in such poor condition that he had to take some kind of medical measures by inserting a needle into his arm, would never have entered the sea just to play in the water.

‘What if Lee Saehwa hadn’t foreseen that such a thing would happen to Hyung?’

Did that mean the same thing could have happened again?

When I imagined my hyung walking alone into the sea, a dizzying sensation, as if I were standing on the edge of a cliff, swept over me, and my head began to ache. But even worse than the piercing headache, as if my brain were being stabbed with an awl, was the sense of helplessness and self-loathing.

“…….”

I was almost tempted to ask my hyung. Why did he so desperately try to hide his vulnerable side from us when he had shown it in front of Lee Saehwa? Was it because he didn’t find us reliable enough to share his burdens with?

“…Let’s go back.”

But I didn’t voice any of the tangled thoughts swirling in my mind. Instead, I acted like a child, intentionally displaying a way of speaking and behavior that I never had, not even when I first met him.

“I’m hungry. You disappeared like that, so I couldn’t eat or sleep, hyung.”

Right now, my hyung was extremely vulnerable.

He stood as if he was fine because I was in front of him, but the slight trembling of his fingers hidden in his sleeve and the occasional loss of focus in his eyes showed that he was unmistakably unstable.

‘It must be because of Yuseong-hyung.’

He was someone who feared showing his weak side in front of us more than anything. For someone like him, it was far too soon to expect him to reopen wounds that hadn’t yet healed and explain everything for the sake of those around him.

What he needed right now was not explanations, but rest.

Isn’t he someone who finds happiness in protecting us, and endures all kinds of hardship through that? In front of my hyung, I should just pretend not to know, close my eyes like a good child, and stay in his embrace. If that alone could bring him a sense of stability and happiness, then for now, that was enough.

…Even if, in my head, I was thinking something entirely different.

“So, let’s go back. Let’s go back and get some proper rest…….”

I could roughly imagine how ridiculous I must look from an objective perspective, but I didn’t care.

“…Okay. Let’s go back.”

So what if I look ridiculous?

This was the only way to get the outcome I wanted.

The members of Prism would become exceptionally soft whenever I acted this way.

Why would the Prism members treat me with such excessive gentleness in the first place? In most cases, a group’s atmosphere was shaped by its de facto leader. Just as children learned how to love by receiving love from their parents, the members of Prism passed down the love they received from our hyung, further and further down, until I eventually became the final destination.

It was all because Seo Yutae was so foolishly affectionate.

Guiding the very person who created this cycle—one that benefited me entirely—to act as I wanted was not all that difficult.

‘That’s why he doesn’t say anything, even though I’m sure he knows I’m acting this way on purpose.’

‘ Keeping Seo Yutae by Prism’s side ‘. If it was for that, I was willing to do anything. Even if it meant exploiting the very weakness of Seo Yutae that we had all resented so much, it didn’t matter.

I absentmindedly let my brother’s worried words go in one ear and out the other as I toyed with the blond strands of hair before me. After deliberately confirming that the hair felt oddly stiff between my fingertips, it felt as if my mood had plummeted to the ground, but I simply smiled without betraying my feelings.

Then, the Prism members arrived.

‘Finally…….’

At last, we were all together again, just like we used to be.

Several members had gathered to celebrate Chise-hyung’s first-place win before, but this was different. Every member was here except for Yuseong-hyung, who had already passed away, and this time, everyone knew about Yutae-hyung’s existence. This was the first time we’d all been together properly since Yutae-hyung left.

“Say hello. Don’t just hide in the back.”

“…Seungbeom-ssi.”

Forced out by Yihwon-hyung, Inchan-hyung addressed our hyung as “ Seungbeom-ssi ”. His expression carried faint traces of tension, exhaustion, and distrust. Perhaps because he hadn’t witnessed the accident himself, he still couldn’t fully accept our hyung’s existence.

But…….

“…You, what is this!”

The moment our hyung, whose face turned pale as a sheet, urgently lifted Inchan-hyung’s chin with his hand and checked his neck, a faint light began to shine in his once lifeless eyes. Our hyung had no idea—he was simply looking at Inchan-hyung’s face with worried eyes—but I could see it.

“You, what are you?”

Inchan-hyung was probably feeling something very similar to what I had felt when I first suspected our hyung’s identity. I had started to suspect him through his small habits, way of speaking, and gestures, but this time, it was far more obvious.

The person who called himself Seo Yutae was worrying over him with the same way of speaking, expressions, and gestures as Seo Yutae always had during the years we spent together. There was no way anyone could remain unaffected. If not Seo Yutae, then who else could possibly look at Prism with such an expression? Even if you couldn’t accept it rationally, instinct would force you to hold onto him.

All the more so for those who had missed our hyung more than anyone else.

…Just like I did.

“…….”

Tears welled up uncontrollably, falling straight to the ground without even trailing down his cheeks. He couldn’t bring himself to lift his head. The sobs that couldn’t make it past his tightly closed lips slowly leaked out with each shuddering breath as his shoulders trembled.

Inchan-hyung was crying just like a child who would burst into tears at the sight of their parents.

Our hyung, looking distressed at such a sight of Inchan-hyung, furrowed his brows before asking in a gentle voice.

“Why aren’t you saying anything? Is it just here that’s hurt?”

Just as Inchan-hyung lifted his head, I noticed the Pantheion members looking at us with bewildered expressions.

‘…Damn it.’

I glanced at them and clenched my teeth.

Our hyung was standing with his back to the Pantheion members, facing us, but since he was naturally sensitive, it was only a matter of time before he noticed their presence. Before that, Pantheion might call out to him or greet us.

‘They won’t just pass by without greeting us, will they?’

That would have been the best-case scenario for us, but I was at least aware of how unrealistic it was. The members of Prism, and ‘ Han Seungbeom ‘ especially, had appearances that no amount of masks or hats could possibly hide.

‘Why do Pantheion have to be here of all places!’

The arrival of the members of Pantheion immediately made me feel anxious.

Pantheion was one of the biggest reasons our hyung had to maintain the identity of ‘ Han Seungbeom ‘. If they found Han Seungbeom again, he would once more be taken away from us.

“Do well at work, Seungbeom-ssi.”

Do I have to experience the same misery as back then again?

As the thought crossed my mind, my heart sank. Then, without realizing it, my legs moved.

I hurriedly stepped behind our hyung to block his view. When I came to my senses, I saw that Chise-hyung had slung an arm around his shoulder, while Cha Woon-hyung wore a nonchalant expression, as if the people passing by had nothing to do with us.

We hadn’t discussed it beforehand, hadn’t even exchanged a look, yet, as if we had planned it all along, we instinctively moved to keep Seo Yutae from realizing that the Pantheion members were nearby.

But despite our efforts, our hyung, who had an uncanny ability to sense presence, slowly started to turn his head. Then, someone I didn’t expect at all stepped in.

“…No. Don’t look.”

Inchan-hyung, who had been silently crying the whole time, suddenly grabbed our hyung’s wrist and pulled him. And, as if by some miracle, our hyung’s attention, which had momentarily drifted elsewhere, shifted back to Inchan-hyung.

“Why? Where does it hurt? Do you want me to take you to the hospital?”

At that moment, I was overcome by an indescribable feeling of intense euphoria. It was the complete opposite of what I had felt that day.

I felt a dirty sense of triumph at the fact that, in a situation where Pantheion and Prism were together, our hyung had prioritized us. It was the most childish and ugly emotion I had ever felt.

‘I don’t care if I’m called selfish.’

In this world, there were some things you could compromise on, and some things you couldn’t compromise on, no matter the circumstances. And for us, our leader was undoubtedly the latter—someone we could never trade for anything, someone as vital as life itself.

‘…I’m sorry.’

As I muttered those words to myself and glanced at them, I realized something was off.

“…….”

Pantheion showed little reaction even after seeing our hyung.

Instead of welcoming their leader, they only wore uneasy expressions and avoided eye contact. In the end, they quietly retreated into their guest room. Then, our hyung, who had been caressing Inchan-hyung’s neck without looking back, quietly spoke with a faint smile.

“It’s okay.”

“…What?”

I didn’t understand what he meant by “ it’s okay “.

Just moments ago, he had looked as if the sky had fallen while looking at Inchan-hyung. As I stared at him in silence, unable to understand what he was saying, our hyung spoke again; his words sounding as if he could see right through me.

“I’m not going to leave you and go to the Pantheion members right now.”

I thought he was oblivious since he obediently followed our lead. But it seemed our hyung knew all along what was going on.

…He was really the same person he had always been.

As the members sucked in their breaths, a little flustered by this turn of events, or hyung continued, his voice sounding a bit weary.

“I was a little tired … while rambling, I accidentally told the members that I’m not Han Seungbeom. On top of that, they also heard a lot of unpleasant things ……. So now, it seems like they’re having a hard time accepting me … They just left earlier, right?”

“…….”

“They’re still young, so it’s even more confusing for them. I can’t force them to understand my situation. So, there’s nothing for you to worry about.”

[END OF YOO JAY’S POV]

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Translator’s Corner:

PANTHEION, FIGHT BACK???????????????????

These grown men in their 30s having one side beef with teenagers …. act your age, Prism…..

I will wake up looking very ugly if I go to sleep after crying, so I’ll just do the next chapter tomorrow … you guys too, enjoy the rest of your day with a peace of mind~

Oh, or try to watch Study Group drama adaption. The drama adaption is really well made and funny. ORV, take notes

And nowadays I see a lot of anons leaving their anon-ness …. welcome ……

Thank You Kimagure for Supporting The Wishlist!

[I hope it’s the right series ^_<]

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