Chapter 387

Side Story (4)

“The first game is ‘If You Laugh, You Die ‘. Our Director-nim will freely move among you as you stand in a straight line, with a squeaky chicken in hand. Anyone who laughs for any reason will be eliminated. The team with the most members left standing at the end will earn the highest score.”

“Wow, I’m really bad at holding back laughter.”

“Hyung, try holding back your laughter now.”

“…Ugh, what do I do! I can’t even look at your face without laughing. Your face alone is funny.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

Maybe they had all seen that viral video of the police academy’s ‘ try-not-to-laugh ’ training 1 that had been circulating online, because the moment the rules were explained, everyone started chattering about whether they were confident or not.

While everyone else was being noisy in the venue, I stood quietly by myself, wearing a red instructor’s hat and sunglasses, and gave a slight, quick nod toward Nam Yihwon.

“…Me?”

I grabbed Nam Yihwon by the back of the neck, forcing him to bend down beneath me.

“Give me a piggyback.”

“Huh?”

“I said give me a piggyback. You’re going to carry me around during the game.”

“I’m a human being, not a horse.”

Still, when I suddenly climbed onto his back, Nam Yihwon surprisingly lifted me up without protest. Then, as if something felt off, he tilted his head to the side.

“It’s not as bad as I thought? Why does it feel light?”

Light, my foot.

My weight tended to fluctuate quite a bit depending on the time of year, so I couldn’t say exactly how much I weighed. I’d lost some weight lately since I hadn’t been eating properly while juggling company work and idol activities, but I still had to be at least twice the weight of an average person.

Yet, he says I’m light?

He’s definitely out of his mind.

“Hyung, did you lose some weight lately?”

…Hey, hey!

That’s a forbidden topic.

Choi Jeokhyeon was right behind us, staring with those icy eyes, and he had the nerve to spout such baseless rumors?

Panicked, I clamped my hand over Nam Yihwon’s mouth and nervously glanced at Choi Jeokhyeon.

“…….”

He … was looking at me.

It was like his whole body was demanding an explanation for what he’d just heard. I’d started this to mess with Nam Yihwon, but now I was the one about to get in trouble. Forcing myself to look calm, I avoided his burning stare, swallowed hard, and yelled.

“…There’s hardly any change in my appearance, so how could I possibly have lost several kilos? You’re the one who’s weird.”

Then Nam Yihwon readjusted his grip on me with a cheerful “ heave-ho ”, like he was lifting a child, and, looking pleased with himself, started bragging.

“Oh really? Well, I did increase my weights recently. I’ve gotten really into working out these days, so I go to the gym with Jo Inchan every day.”

‘…Don’t use my body for your weight training.’

The members of Prism were already known for having training routines so intense they were often compared to those of professional athletes. But now he’s saying he’s gone even harder than that?

“You two fight so often, so why are you always stuck together every day…….”

“I don’t know either.”

What in the world is wrong with my kids, seriously? Why do they keep trying to go beyond the level of idols and aim for that of professional athletes? These guys already had great physiques to begin with, but now that they were training like maniacs, it felt like things were getting more and more out of hand.

“Wow, look at those arms. Whoa, seriously, those arms. Look at the veins popping out. That’s truly insane.”

When the camera, as if mesmerized, zoomed in on Nam Yihwon’s muscular arm, Gong Seonghwa let out a genuine sound of awe and threw in a comment. Watching that, I suddenly found myself wondering whether Seras were even into that kind of look. Idols are supposed to have that sparkling flower boy image by default, so wouldn’t they dislike seeing us get bulkier and bulkier, thinking it’s too much?

‘Should I place a restriction on gym access?’

Something about this scene wasn’t what I had in mind.

I’d been pissed off and wanted to make him suffer a bit for his useless antics, but I ended up just being comfortably carried instead.

“I want to do it too, hyung.”

“Me too.”

I could hear Jay and Lee Chise shouting from behind with their hands raised, but I ignored them completely.

I’ll say it again: this is not the game.

“Then, the first game! Let’s begin!”

The moment Gong Seonghwa finished speaking, I, still riding on Nam Yihwon’s back, started moving freely between the rows of our agency’s artists.

“Pft.”

“You are eliminated.”

“Keuhk.”

“You are eliminated.”

“Ah, Director-nim, please…….”

“You are eliminated.”

The trainees and actors were the first to go down. All it took was me brushing past them, clutching Nam Yihwon’s head like reins, and they completely lost it, unable to hold back their laughter. The visual was admittedly a bit shocking, so I understood their reactions, but it was still disappointing that they got eliminated so quickly without managing to secure much airtime. Simply put, there was no fun.

“Do you really think this kind of thing is fun? Are you serious?”

On top of that, Lee Hwayoung kept a deadpan expression and looked thoroughly unimpressed the whole time.

The banana costume made it hard to take him seriously, but since he was completely oblivious to that fact, I decided to just act like I didn’t notice either.

“I’m sorry ……. I’m sorry for being no fun…….”

As for Baek Kiryang, he paid no mind to the chicken or anything else. He was just so terrified that Nam Yihwon and I were staring at him together that he couldn’t even laugh in the first place.

‘Is there anyone here who might give a good reaction?’

As I looked around for potential prey, I noticed Do Yuda, who among the Pantheion members had an unusually low barrier to laughter, keeping his gaze fixed on the floor and not lifting his head. The moment I spotted him, I immediately stepped right in front of him.

Then, when I reached out my hand to Lee Chise, who had been trailing beside me, he took a chicken head about four times the size of a normal one out of the bag he was carrying and carefully placed it in my hand. Do Yuda, spotting the abnormally large chicken through his limited view, clamped his mouth shut and squeezed his eyes shut as if he had seen something he shouldn’t have.

“Hyung, please…….”

I ignored Do Yuda’s pleading and gave my command in a low voice, “Open your eyes.”

Sensing his fate, Do Yuda took a few rough, deep breaths before squeezing one eye open. It seemed he was trying to mentally prepare himself to hold back his laughter, but all that awaited him was the sticky stare of the chicken head.

Kkik. Kkiiek.

“Pffft, heuk.”

Dealing with Do Yuda wasn’t that difficult.

I looked down with an expressionless face at Do Yuda, who had completely collapsed onto the ground, defeated by nothing more than a tiny squeak.

“Haa … ugh, gah. Heuk.”

Don’t drool.

You’re an idol.

“You’re eliminated, so step back.”

“Please, just give me one more chance.”

“Disqualified.”

“How come you’re only using the pig chicken on me? You know I’m already easy to make laugh!”

“Disqualified.”

“Heheueung.”

“Acting cute won’t work. You’re out.”

“Ung, you think I’m cute?”

I was momentarily at a loss for words at his quick reply. Completely caught off guard, I just stood there in silence, and from below, I heard Nam Yihwon snickering, “Wow, Seo Yutae is flustered.”

At that, Do Yuda crossed his legs bashfully and, in an exaggeratedly coy tone, said, “I wasn’t trying to act cute though. Gosh, this hyung really likes me way too much.”

My head hurts.

Squeeeek! Sqwik, squawk, squeee! Kkikk—

“Alright, alright! I’m going! I’m going!”

After driving Do Yuda away with a barrage of pecks from the squeaky chicken, I immediately began directing Nam Yihwon again to look for the next prey.

“Yes, yes, where shall we go, Master?”

It was fascinating how, by holding his chin and turning it this way and that, he would somehow get the hint and move exactly where I wanted him to go.

Is this what it feels like to ride a horse?

I’m not well-versed in horseback riding, so I can’t say for sure. I could feel Lee Hwayoung, who actually rides quite often, watching us with a slightly disdainful look, but well … whatever.

‘In the end, he’s just a banana.’

As that thought crossed my mind and I turned my head, a bright yellow banana brushed past the edge of my vision.

‘Damn it.’

Banana Lee Hwayoung at least looked kind of cute, but that banana was anything but acceptable.

Right in front of me, Nagi Zen was staring straight at me with round black eyes on his yellow-painted face. He didn’t even spare a glance for the squeaky chicken toy. It was as if the only thing in his sight was me.

It felt like something straight out of a horror movie. If there was a doll like that in my house, I had a feeling it would keep coming back no matter how many times I threw it away.

‘Please don’t look at me with that face.’

I kept praying silently and avoided his gaze, pretending not to see him. Then, Zen suddenly raised his hand and peeled off the banana costume.

‘Ah, please.’

As I bit the inside of my cheek at the sight of his pale skin now exposed—an image far too uncomfortable to look at—Nagi Zen slapped the banana body like a sumo wrestler. The banana bounced back with a springy thump.

“Come.”

I’m supposed to be the attacker, so why is that guy the one who keeps attacking?

I didn’t even have the energy to point it out anymore. The way he kept staring so intensely at me was just too much. You’d think I’d be used to Nagi Zen’s unpredictable behavior by now, but somehow, I never got used to it.

“I, Nagi Zen, a man who has overcome countless hardships. I shall prove that something like this cannot break me.”

“…….”

“I’m going to show you the difference in our class. Come at me.”

I knew I had to go … but I really didn’t want to.

I already felt so annoyed and exhausted that I just wanted to pretend I didn’t see him and skip dealing with him altogether.

…Should I give it a try?

“Huh? What? Not this way? We’re going to the baby?”

I quickly turned Nam Yihwon’s head, smoothly changing our course from Nagi Zen to Lee Danbi instead. Before he could even ask why we weren’t going toward Zen, I clamped a hand over his mouth just in case. If I acknowledged his presence, that banana would definitely come chasing after me.

Noticing that I couldn’t quite see Lee Danbi’s face from this height, I tapped Nam Yihwon’s shoulder. He tilted his head up blankly, as if to ask what the problem was this time.

I looked down at him coldly and said, “The height’s off.”

It meant that since it was too high, he should bend his knees a little, like doing a squat, to match my eye level.

Sure, it would’ve been easier if I just got down from him, but still?

“Maybe it’s because both our Hyung-nim and I are two meters tall? Wow, two plus two makes four, huh? We’re so tall I can’t even tell if we’re a pair of humans or a couple of utility poles stuck together. Wow, it would be so much easier if you just came down? Even for me, holding you up in a squat position is a bit much, hyung!”

Nam Yihwon’s face went a little pale as he hurriedly tried to placate me, but Jay, who’d been filming Nam Yihwon’s antics on his phone from behind, chimed in, “Yutae hyung’s got long legs, so he’s not that high when you carry him, hyung.”

At that comment, which completely blocked his escape route, Nam Yihwon immediately shot Jay the middle finger as if to tell him to shut it.

To carry me on his back comfortably, he’d have to put all his strength into his arms, but even now, he couldn’t seem to endure it. What a hothead.

“Our beloved maknae seems to be in a very good mood today. He keeps adding unnecessary comments while his hyungnims are talking.”

“ Hyungnims ? Are there two Hyungnims here? That’s strange. I can only see Yutae-hyung.”

“The maknae’s eyesight is already going bad, what should we do? I feel like if he’s ever left alone without Yutae-hyung, his vision might miraculously come back. What do you think?”

“Oh, I’m never going to be alone. I’m going to stick to him like glue and never let go, for life.”

“Wow, look at him, he won’t lose an argument, not even a single word. Hey, Yutae-hyung isn’t the only one who raised you, you know? Haa … raising a child is completely pointless. Right, the child’s mother?”

“Who are you calling the child’s mother ? Stop talking nonsense.”

Nam Yihwon, perhaps thinking that Jo Inchan would take his side, tried to drag him into the conversation, but all he got in return was a cold reaction.

Those Prism guys probably won’t even bat an eye, but at this rate, people might actually start rumors about discord within Prism.

The funny thing is, back when there actually was discord and we lived without even seeing each other’s faces, not a single rumor like that ever spread.

Hahahahahaha.

That’s not funny.

“Oh, oh my goodness! Master, I’m dying.”

When Nam Yihwon finally bent down to meet his eye level, I found Lee Danbi staring up at us with lifeless, dark eyes.

Squeak. Squaaak. Coo.

It was strange.

No matter how much the chicken’s head clucked, there was no reaction.

“Ahahaha!”

“Ugh, haha, ah … it’s so funny I feel like I’m going to throw up.”

The eliminated celebrities and staff were already rolling on the floor laughing, but that guy just stared at us with a subtly scrunched-up face, like someone who had seen something they shouldn’t have. In the videos, even the slightest cry would set everyone off laughing, so why did all our kids, except for Do Yuda, have such gloomy expressions?

No matter how I thought about it, there seemed to be something wrong this squeaky thing’s effect.

“…….”

“…….”

An awkward air hung between the baby banana, who looked like he had achieved enlightenment, and the pair of questionable individuals.

“Is this not fun?”

Murmuring that as I stared quietly down at the squeaker, I slowly climbed down from Nam Yihwon’s back.

“…This won’t do. I’ll have to test it on someone else.”

And as I walked straight toward Choi Jeokhyeon, chicken head in hand, the faces of every single affiliated artist and staff began to be stained with terror.

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Translator’s Corner:

Have no energy to proofread so sorry for the quality. Will check for typos tomorrow.

It’s actually one year anniversary since the side stories started (wow, 1 year and the side stories still ongoing. Author-nim, I love you), it will be slow but I will try my best to translate it to the end….. let’s change the genre for real while we’re at it … haha just kiddling, unless….

And for my post behind this … if you’re the person who uploaded my translations to scribd, even has the time to remove all credits, please delete … I’m so disillusioned with everything now I don’t even have the spirit to get angry anymore….

Oh, and happy halloween everyone! Happy tricks or treats day! Nor related to Halloween, but please do me a favor and give this song a listen. I need more people to know about this masterpiece

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