Chapter 370

“Please bring an oxygen mask and some ice packs here!”

Sensing right away that Seo Yutae wasn’t in good condition, the Prism members immediately rose from their seats and tried to head backstage. Having spent many years working with him in Prism, they knew him as someone whose expression hardly ever changed over most things, so seeing him so visibly unwell made them certain that his condition had seriously deteriorated.

“This area is off-limits to unauthorized personnel.”

“Just a moment, it will only take a very short time. We just want to check on his condition.”

However, in a truly cruel twist of fate, the Prism members were stopped by staff before they could even reach backstage. Since they were acquaintances of Han Seungbeom and well-known celebrities, they weren’t restrained forcefully, but they were essentially in the same position as any ordinary person—unable to even check on Seo Yutae’s condition.

Such a thing was unimaginable back in their days as Prism.

In that moment, Jo Inchan was seized by an indescribable sense of helplessness and regretted it to the core of his being. He thought, ‘ Ah, I shouldn’t have done something as stupid as handing Hyung over to another group .’

Come to think of it, Seo Yutae had never once told the Prism members who were still attached to him, “ I’m no longer part of Prism, so don’t get involved ”. Considering how Seo Yutae was someone who would draw a clear line and say outright when he disliked something, there was no way he would have forced himself to act otherwise. And yet, like a fool, they had never really thought about it until now.

“…Damn it!”

“He’s probably already shivering because his body temperature has dropped. Don’t make him any colder.”

All they could do was stop a staff member rushing by with an ice pack and make that plea. In the end, even that was dismissed by the staff, who found the Prism members’ behavior suspicious.

Through his blurry vision, Seo Yutae looked at the Prism members standing frozen in shock. He wanted so badly to get up right away and tell them he was okay, to reassure them, but his body refused to move. At the very least, he wanted to ask the staff not to block them, since they weren’t outsiders, but no sound came. All he could do was mouth the words in vain.

Then the staff, mistakenly thinking that Seo Yutae was asking for some kind of help, began bombarding him with questions about his condition.

“Seungbeom-ssi, what’s wrong? Are you feeling dizzy?”

“Where does it hurt? Do you think you can go on with the performance?”

Several staff members swarmed around him at once, massaging his arms and legs to improve blood circulation, pressing ice packs to his skin, and bringing an oxygen mask to his mouth.

Concerts often demanded back-to-back, grueling dance performances that could drain a performer’s energy after only a song or two, so it wasn’t at all rare for someone to hit their physical limit. For that reason, the staff would, as a matter of course, take steps to quickly address any drop in their condition and help them get back on stage.

However, for Seo Yutae, the problem was psychological, so the more the staff tried to help, the more his condition worsened. Eventually, as breathing became increasingly difficult, he couldn’t even tell them to leave him alone. He could only push their hands away in silent resistance.

Then, his complexion was now pale, he shivered from the cold and checked the time.

‘…There’s not much time left.’

Since the VCR currently playing was six minutes long, he had to pull himself together and return to the stage within those six minutes.

As if to prove that time flowed mercilessly no matter how much his mind and body rejected reality, he heard the VCR’s audio flowing unhindered over his hunched body.

[“There are so many things I regret. I keep thinking I could have done so much better if I had only done things differently. Now that it’s over, I’m filled with those regrets … Even though I was so lacking in so many ways, thank you so much, our Muses, for loving me.”]

[“Fans are precious to every singer, but for me, our Muses feel especially dear. Ah, does everyone say that? Haha, but I really mean it. Because I know, I know so well just how hard our fans worked to get me to debut. I think about it every single day. I wonder, what kind of fortune was I born with to receive this much love?”]

[“I’ll keep working hard, so let’s meet again when I’ve become someone you can be proud of.”]

As soon as Seo Yutae heard the members expressing their last words of gratitude to the fans, he tightly closed his eyes. He thought, ‘ Ah, this really is the end. ‘

The closer it gets to the end, the better he’s supposed to perform. But contrary to that wish, the closer it got to the end, the heavier his body felt, and he could feel his breathing becoming more and more erratic.

Do Yuda slowly approached Seo Yutae and knelt down in front of him. Then, reaching out with warm hands, he gently clasped Seo Yutae’s cold, stiffened hands and passed his warmth to him.

“Hyung, can you hear me?”

Soon after, a calm voice reached him, and his frantic breaths met a steady gaze beneath gentle eyes.

“I can’t solve your problems realistically, like you always did for me, hyung. I’m still too immature, and I don’t even know what exactly is causing you so much pain. I’m such an idiot…….”

“…….”

“But I do know this much.”

“…….”

“ A good song cannot come from bad breathing . Isn’t that right?”

All Do Yuda did was hold his hand tightly—so tightly it felt like it would be crushed. He was simply returning the words Seo Yutae had once given him. Yet that small gesture alone struck Seo Yutae like a blow to the head, leaving him momentarily stunned. For a moment, he forgot to even breathe, just staring up at Do Yuda in a daze.

It’s surprising that he still remembers that one small remark. The person who originally said it had long since forgotten it, yet now he’s grown enough to make it his own and pass it on to someone else.

While he was lost in that thought, Zen’s voice came through the VCR.

[“Somehow … it still doesn’t feel real. I just feel like tomorrow will be another repeat of the same routine.”]

And even as the screen shifted to Do Yuda, tthe video carried on with the same topic so naturally, almost as if it were being spoken by a single person.

[“I’m not sure if you guys know this, but Seungbeom-hyung always comes in very carefully when waking us up. You’d think he’d just throw the door open and yell, ‘ How long are you going to laze around! Get up already! ’ and totally knock everything over, but he doesn’t. It’s pretty unexpected, right?”]

It was a video that Seo Yutae hadn’t been able to watch to the end, held back by Do Yuda fussing about how embarrassing it was and the company insisting he needed to see it on D-Day for the emotional impact.

When Do Yuda exactly imitated Seo Yutae’s sullen expression and exaggerated a shouting gesture, a ripple of laughter escaped from the otherwise gloomy audience.

Do Yuda on the screen also giggled to himself, then lowered his gaze and wore a gentle expression, as if recalling a happy memory. After pausing for a moment, he whispered in a low, soft voice, tickling the ears just like Seo Yutae did when waking him up.

[“After he comes in quietly like that, he just stares at our faces … Then, when enough time has passed that it can’t be postponed any longer, he finally wakes us up by gently brushing our hair aside. It tickles, and when I slowly open my eyes, he’ll ask if I knew I was drooling and then tickle my cheek. Then I just laugh. I bet Hyung never once dreamed that I was awake the whole time. Those moments feel like treasures to me.”]

Next, the screen shifted to a video of Lee Hwayoung, Woo Kangwon, and Baek Kiryang.

[“I’ve been working under so much love and protection, more than I ever deserved. So much that repaying it would be impossible. I don’t think I’ll ever have an experience like this again.”]

[“To us, Seungbeom was more than just a leader, and Pantheion was more than just a group. People will never know how much courage we gained from Seungbeom and our time in Pantheion.”]

[“Thinking that all of this will be gone starting tomorrow feels a bit strange. I wish I had mentally prepared myself for it to some extent … I was so focused on giving my best at every moment that I didn’t have time to even think, This is a group that will end someday .”]

The last was Lee Danbi.

With a seldom-seen bright smile that suited his age, Lee Danbi began to speak.

[“I still don’t really know what I’ll be like without Pantheion. I’m excited for the future, but at the same time, to be honest, I think I also feel a little lonely and scared. But it’s okay. Even if I can’t experience anything like this again in the future, I think the memories I’ve made so far will be enough for me to get back up again whenever things get hard. I guess you could call them the memories that form the foundation of who Lee Danbi is. The kind of memories that let me feel reassured, that make me think, ‘ Ah, there are people who cherish me like this ‘ and ‘ I’m someone who’s worthy of being loved ‘…….]

And then, the faces of all the members appeared in quick succession.

[“It was fun, my time with Pantheion.”]

[“I feel truly fortunate to have met the members.”]

[“I feel like I’ve experienced a precious time I could never trade for anything else.”]

[“I’ll probably never be able to forget it.”]

[“I think I’ll always miss it.”]

[“I was happy.”]

[“Thank you for being part of the brightest moment of my life.”]

Having seen all that, Seo Yutae realized that the worries he had were nothing but foolish.

The memories they had shared until now would not disappear, and they should never be allowed to. Those moments would steadily accumulate within these kids and stay with them for a long time to come. Wasn’t that enough? For Seo Yutae, that alone was more than enough to make him happy.

And this very moment would become a memory that would support Seo Yutae as a person.

With that thought in his mind, Seo Yutae staggered to his feet.

Then, leading the members, he took one step after another toward the stage.

“…….”

The members of Pantheion were each styled slightly differently by the stylist, but they all wore the same comfortable white T-shirt on stage. Then, gathering in a circle around Baek Kiryang, who stood in front of the keyboard, they sat facing one another.

After staring at each other in silence for about ten seconds, they suddenly burst into loud laughter. In Seo Yu-tae’s words, it was quite a spectacle: there was the guy drenched in sweat like a mouse thrown into water after running around the stage all concert long, another whose eyes were already red and ready to cry, and a guy who, perhaps out of pride or some other reason, completely turned away from the members so no one could see him cry.

“WAAAAAH!”

As the screen filled with the sight of the members smiling brightly, the Muses gave them a round of applause. Seo Yutae bowed his head in response, then picked up the microphone and began speaking in a relaxed tone, as if he were simply having an everyday conversation.

“Actually, not long ago, the company asked me for a favor. They needed a song for the final performance and wanted it to be emotional, even a little sad. That’s a pretty common thing at concerts, right? So I was planning to write the song just as they requested. While doing some research for it, I came across the final stage of another project group.”

“…….”

“I watched it, and I saw how much the fans and members were crying. But when I imagined our members and Muses doing the same … I just couldn’t bring myself to write the song.”

His expression and voice were just as usual.

He wasn’t shedding any tears, but for a brief moment, Seo Yutae struggled to speak, his lips trembling slightly. Today, for some reason, he looked unbearably pitiful, and a sudden groan of “ Ahhhhhh ” came from the audience.

At that sound, Seo Yutae raised his eyebrows in mild surprise, then continued speaking with a faint smile.

“After struggling for several sleepless nights, I suddenly thought that I wanted to see smiling faces at the end of the song. That’s when I decided to write a song that everyone could sing happily, with smiles on their faces.”

“…….”

“For our final song, we’ll be singing Let Our Farewell Be with a Smile for you.”

After finishing his remarks, Seo Yutae placed his hand on Do Yuda’s shoulder and nodded. Do Yuda, sitting next to him, leaned toward the microphone fixed on the stand and playfully counted the beat, “One, two, three, two, two, three.”

Then Zen began plucking the guitar strings with his fingertips. For the final song, neither the staff’s cues nor the MR were needed.

As the gentle guitar accompaniment played, and the moment to sing the first line approached, Zen, who had been watching his fingers on the strings, glanced up at Seo Yutae. Seo Yutae met his gaze, smiled softly, and then began singing in time with Zen’s guitar.

“Sometimes we were friends, sometimes children,

sometimes parents, being a strength for one another”

“I liked it a lot”

“Gaining the strength to long for yesterday,

the strength to live through today,

and the strength to look forward to tomorrow.”

“Let our farewell be with a smile”

“So that we don’t sink into too deep regret

So that we can forget too great a sorrow

So that the weight of this farewell might be lessened even just a little”

“I hope this farewell doesn’t leave you with too deep a wound

I hope you have a happy day, even without me”

“I hope you can love yourself

As much as I love you”

“Even if we go through a painful farewell

I hope you don’t forget that you’re not alone”

“The world is too lonely to live in all alone”

As he made eye contact with the fans and pretended to clap loudly, the fans soon followed along, clapping to the rhythm and singing along. But before long, that too turned into cries.

The sadness, which didn’t match the bright, hopeful melody, gradually grew so loud that the sound of the accompaniment could no longer be properly heard. From time to time, desperate pleas like “ No .”, “ Don’t go .”, could be heard. They must have known, better than anyone, that those wishes would never come true.

The members, perhaps unable to bear the sight of the Muses’ faces blurred with tears, turned their backs to the audience and gritted their teeth. The reason they kept staring up at the empty ceiling must have been to keep the tears that had already welled up from falling.

“Show me your smiling face

Because when you smile, I feel like I can smile too”

“Let our farewell be with a smile

It would be too sad if all I saw when I think of you were tears.”

Ah, I wish I had made the song a bit longer.

I want to take in this moment for even a single second more.

Seo Yutae took in the sight of the audience, which resembled a night sky full of shining stars, and thought to himself.

It seemed the other members felt the same way, as the tempo of the song gradually slowed. They were like little children, digging in their heels, not wanting to go home

But despite their efforts, the end inevitably came.

There were no songs left to sing.

As soon as the music stopped, the silent concert hall was overtaken by the sound of fans crying. In the end, it turned into a sea of tears, the exact opposite of what Seo Yutae had hoped for.

Seo Yutae deeply bowed toward the fans he loved.

“Thanks to all of you, I was truly happy. Really, from the bottom of my heart, thank you so much. Please always stay healthy, and be happy … This has been Pantheion.”

Now, it really is farewell.

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Translator’s Corner:

#PantheionDisbandmentParty at cabin four today. Bring your own refreshments and sad songs playlist. But wow … feels like it’s just yesterday we read 120 chapters of their survival show …. (although for some of you, it really was yesterday I guess)

I want to translate the song title to “A Smile To Our Farewell” but it didn’t fit in the lyrics section, so “Let Our Farewell Be with a Smile” it is. I used farewell instead of goodbye just because I like it. Idk. I’m not built for translating lyrics. Remind me to stay away from idol novels after this series…..

Also there’s something wrong with my phone (999999+ again), except this time the problem is really absurd. No, am I just cursed with gadget issues? Is my soul actually supposed to live in an era without electronics or something that’s why I always suffer 9999+ electronic problems …. or am I just too unlucky in general …. No, I even posted about it to repair subreddit to check people opinion, and the people that are experts at phone repair SAID IT’S THE FIRST TIME THEY SAW A PROBLEM LIKE MINE ???? LIKE MY LUCK ???? ugh, I’ll sleep then go to repair shop but seriously … why this always happening to me ….. like I seriously need to have a 1:1 chat with God. If you keep giving me problems like this, let’s just isekai me to a rofan universe then ????

If there’s a mistake … ill fix it later. It’s almost 10 AM here and I havent sleep sahjkahdhsd I’ll go see Yutae in dreamland (preferably Yutae living happily with Seungbeom)

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