Chapter 266

Pantheion’s member combinations weren’t particularly harmonious. We inherited the inevitable flaws that many groups from survival programs tend to have. Therefore, if you focus solely on the results, the members tended to shine more in the genres they each specialized in, rather than in typical group songs.

In contrast, Prism was the optimal answer found under my picky standards, considering not only individual skill but also the members’ overall harmony.

Given this background, it was inevitable that Pantheion’s cover of Prism’s song would show some shortcomings. Since I knew that better than anyone, I couldn’t approve of our appearance on that program.

Maybe I was just kind of traumatized by what happened to Jo Inchan and got sick and tired of people’s reactions. Maybe it was youthful folly, but when I was with Prism, I never worried about things like this at all. I didn’t know since when I became so overprotective of my children … it was really laughable.

“Why? Do we look so hopelessly inferior to Prism in your eyes?”

At the sharp words that seemed to hit the mark, the other members’ eyes started darting between me and him, trying to read the room. Even amidst the flurry of shifting gazes, Lee Hwayoung’s blue eyes remained fixed on me without wavering.

“Do you think I don’t know? You’re convinced we’ll embarrass ourselves in front of the public because we can’t cover Prism’s songs properly, aren’t you?”

I silently met Lee Hwayoung’s gaze, then slowly leaned back and settled into the sofa.

The first reason was that I had a feeling this was going to be a long conversation, and I also wanted to silently convey that I was ready to listen to his thoughts, so it was okay for him to take his time.

In response, Lee Hwayoung lowered his head deeply and slowed his breathing. Realizing that he had started the conversation with a tone sharper than necessary, he caught himself and then spoke again, this time in the language he was most comfortable with.

“I know too. That we’re lacking compared to Prism.”

At the sudden appearance of English, Do Yuda let out a “Huh?” and tilted his head, then slowly crawled over to Baek Kiryang. He must have wanted to ask Baek Kiryang for a translation. Zen, who had no intention of listening to the conversation in the first place, simply followed behind Do Yuda.

‘…Innocent kids.’

If it were Prism … the dorm would probably be a mess by now.

Those guys have gotten older now, so I’m not sure how they’ve changed, but when they were the same age as the Pantheion members, they often just grabbed each other by the collar first because they were annoyed, despite not even having a proper understanding of the situation.

I felt a bit relieved as I looked at the Pantheion members huddled together, then turned my head back toward Lee Hwayoung.

“…I admit that there’s a gap between us and Prism that we can never catch up to. They’re people who’ve reached the top of the industry. I don’t want to deny how much hard work and talent they must have poured into building such a career.“

“…….”

“However, how often will we get the chance to receive evaluations and advice from such great people based on a performance we’ve prepared to the best of our ability? This could be a crisis for us, but it might also be a huge opportunity.”

The way he was pleading with me, his fist clenched tightly, looked quite desperate.

It wasn’t just an impulsive outburst out of frustration. He seemed to have a certain understanding of his situation, and it appeared he had been mulling over it for a long time.

“…We can’t go on like this.”

The reason Lee Hwayoung was saying those words now must be because he wasn’t satisfied with his own skills.

‘He’s been in a bit of a slump lately. The same goes for the other members too.’

I already had an idea about the cause of the stagnation the members were experiencing.

Humans are meant to flourish by pushing themselves under great pressure and tension.”

However, the Pantheion members had never faced a real crisis until now.

“Until now, we’ve achieved success too easily, under your protection, without ever facing a single crisis.”

And the reason for that was probably…….

‘Me.’

Until now, I have perfectly controlled all of the Pantheion members’ performances and activities, highlighting their strengths while concealing their weaknesses, thus avoiding all the crises that should have naturally come to them. The reason our careers appeared to be smooth sailing was precisely because of that.

‘…I thought he wouldn’t realize.’

Efforts to prevent a problem from happening in the first place were often less noticeable than solving it once it had occurred. However, this young master, who strangely resembled his uncle, seemed to have used his brilliant mind to scrutinize himself and ultimately discovered the root cause of his stagnation.

“But soon, we will have to leave your side and walk our own paths. In this current state, as soon as you’re gone, we will face a reality different from anything we’ve experienced so far, and we can’t afford to be unprepared for that. I don’t want to avoid it any longer.“

‘I wonder if this guy even knows the concept of rationalization.’ 1

Given his strong desire to achieve and his evident lack of fear of failure, it seemed like a plausible story. That mindset must have stemmed from Camilla’s parenting style, which encouraged her child to challenge himself and, even in the face of failure, to treat it as something insignificant.

‘Well, she raised her son well … although his Korean speaking style is a bit problematic because he learned it from watching me.’

A small chuckle escaped me as I subconsciously looked for Camilla in Lee Hwayoung’s frowning face, and then I began to speak.

“As you said, this will probably be the last chance for you all to receive proper feedback from Prism.”

There was nothing wrong with what Lee Hwayoung said.

It was truly unprecedented for Prism to accept an appearance on such a program. This decision was probably driven by the madness of wanting to see my face, even if it was for work. They might have even proposed ‘ Pantheion’s appearance’ as a condition for their appearance.

‘Because the members of Prism have no interest in other people at all…….’

That being said, just because they could, didn’t mean they would. Those guys weren’t the type to offer advice to their juniors, especially when it wasn’t their responsibility. They were very busy with their own affairs, so unless it was this opportunity, it was unlikely that there would be another chance to receive feedback from Prism.

“Just because there are demerits doesn’t mean you have to automatically give up that option. It’s true that crises and failures are necessary for growth. However, I can’t help but realistically consider which of the pros and cons could be fatal for you.”

“…….”

“People will start to mock you the moment they see even the slightest sign of your inexperience. They will try to feel superior by disregarding and ridiculing you, acting as if Prism’s abilities and careers were their own.”

After saying that, I added, “But actually, the members of Prism know how much courage it takes to take on your challenges, so they will never mock you.”. Upon hearing this, Lee Hwayoung clenched his fist tightly and replied, “That alone is enough for me.”

“I’m not doing this because I want to be recognized and worshipped by people … I’ve worked hard all this time to become a singer like you, but at this rate!”

“It would probably fall short. But being an idol is a job that lives on public evaluation and attention. No matter how much you try not to care, there’s always a limit. Most of you don’t even really know how terrifying it is to be ridiculed by the public.”

Although I didn’t explicitly explain that last remark, it was said with Lee Danbi in mind.

Lee Danbi already knew what it felt like to be ridiculed by the public.

“…It’s painful to know so clearly how you can grow, and yet, despite having the courage and will to choose it, be unable to do anything. It’s almost like choosing stagnation for yourself.”

“…….”

“But there’s no helping it. In an environment where people are ridiculed for even a single vocal slip-up, songs composed with only safe, stable notes will inevitably increase. This is a problem that’s difficult for an individual to fight against.”

Failure is the mother of success, and the world of those who don’t challenge themselves only grows narrower.

It was truly contradictory, but in the end, the cost of a harsh attitude toward failure was regression. Everyone knew this fact, yet the reality was that when something to mock was right in front of them, they couldn’t hold back their laughter.

“This society is not mature enough to wait for your growth.”

A person needs to grow.

They must have pursued change through diverse challenges, leaving behind satisfying results that allowed those who consumed their work to never feel bored and always marvel at something new. However, they must not have experienced failures that were below a level that could be nicely packaged.

Because it might make the viewer feel awkward or uncomfortable.

Although no one could perfectly predict the outcome of their choices, they did it anyway .

“I’m just going for a quick walk, nothing more. I’ll definitely win, so you can just relax and watch from behind, hyung!”

“I went there because I thought I could win. And since I did it perfectly, it’s all good.”

People had no interest in the young sprouts that bent under the harshness of the public’s cruelty.

Because in every era, there have been individuals like Lee Chise, Seo Yuseong, and the other members of Prism, who were gifted with extraordinary talents capable of dominating any situation.

‘I just wanted these guys to not be afraid of standing on stage.’

“…I’m sorry, I have no choice but to say this.”

At some point, this industry that I love had become corrupted and was heading in the wrong direction.

And it was painful for me to have to shove that reality in front of the children I cherish.

As I dropped my gaze to the floor with a heavy heart, Lee Hwayoung, who had been standing in front of me, suddenly knelt down and met my eyes. Then, without hesitation, he grabbed my wrist and spoke

“I’m okay. I’m here right now because I’m okay.“

“…….”

“If I were the type of person who prioritizes staying in a safe zone, I wouldn’t have dreamed of this career. I would have just comfortably inherited my mother’s business. But now, that’s not enough for me anymore. I’ve already discovered how fulfilling it is to push myself to grow further. You were the one who taught me that.”

I was definitely trying to protect my children by locking our door.

But apparently, the children I chose weren’t lazy enough to be satisfied with that.

“The people from Raize are surely aware of that as well, and that must be why they accepted the offer. The possibility that the image they’ve built up so far could completely collapse, or the possibility of being compared to Prism, isn’t even on their radar.”

“…….”

“Only those who aren’t afraid of failure can rise to the top, just like you did. So, please watch over our challenge.”

I was left with no words.

Why do the eyes of someone moving toward their dream shine so brilliantly? ……. Seeing a face like that only made it even harder to say the things I already didn’t want to say.

If you stay still and do nothing, you wouldn’t have to taste the bitterness of failure, so why do people keep challenging themselves?

“Daesang, congratulations Prism!”

“Prism! They’ve set a new record once more!”

It must be because they knew that what lay beyond was too precious to be traded for anything else.

Indeed, if my past self were in the same situation as the Pantheion members now, what choice would I have made?

When I asked myself that question, the answer came surprisingly fast, and I couldn’t help but let out a hollow laugh.

“…Give it a try.”

I believe in the members of Pantheion.

I believe in this industry that I love, and I believe in the members of Prism.

“I will follow the path you have chosen.”

Therefore, no matter how cloudy the world becomes, I choose to firmly believe that the children I love can bring forth a ray of light.

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Translator’s Corner:

Like, the common occurance in social media, someone did something shitty, then they justify themselves with “It’s because I have mental ilness”.

Here, MC is like … wondering is Nicholas even knows that he could just make up some excuses to justify his lack of something / his failure. ↩︎

ASDFGHHJJLKLSAKJDSKLFDL (the translator is too in love with Seo Yutae to speak)

No, but at this point, Nicholas should have just called Yutae by name … they’re lucky the rest of Pantheion are 2 fools, 2 pushovers, and 1 Lee Danbi

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