Episode 99 — The Rewritten Blueprint

It’s quiet. Finally, has the world ever been so accommodating to my personal agenda—namely, my shut-in lifestyle?

Tama is on my lap, purring contentedly.

Outside the window, the city of Felsen is currently simmering with the heat of a massive transformation.

The Elven village was saved by my "Ant Network." The "Arithmetic" brought by Argo, the demon prodigy, has accelerated the economy. Neighboring lords have been infected by the poison known as "Chess," deepening their dependency on the Felsen OS. But all that frenzy is happening on the other side of a single wall, far from this sanctuary.

"Mrrrp... (I hope it stays this peaceful forever...)"

"Tama... did you notice? Right now, the causality of Felsen is revolving around my will to 'do nothing.' We’ve got a clear schedule until the second banquet."

"Mrow... (I doubt it’ll go that smoothly. That sounds like a textbook flag to me.)"

I took a sip of Cola—which, after purchasing the "Truth: As Is" upgrade, felt like it had the perfect level of carbonation.

The awkward folder structure of "Humans," "Elves," and "Magic Races" no longer exists in this world. With the "Biological Species Concept" patch I wrote, Felsen has been optimized into a single directory called "Humanity." The cost of redundant sorting has been reduced to zero.

I sank deep into my throne and closed my eyes. While I sleep, the world continues to improve itself. Is there any "work" better than this?

***

The Divine Realm — Central Administration Building.

"LUMINA! Revoke his permissions! Revoke them right now!"

The Chief God’s scream echoed through the half-destroyed office. He was clutching the wreckage of the "Causality Measurement Pillar," which was currently flashing red and spewing black smoke.

The crystal display showed an unprecedented anomaly:

[Event: ‘Species Barrier’ has been deleted. Genetic formats for all races have been unified.]

[Warning: Divine Interference command ‘Oracle’ has been blocked as an ‘Unwanted Pop-up.’]

"Lumina! My 'Oracle'... the words of the omniscient and omnipotent ME have been erased! He checked the box for ‘Do not show this notification again’ and tossed me into the Trash!"

However, Lumina—the goddess in charge—was dressed in a gown so lavish she looked like a casino owner. She sat with her legs elegantly crossed, sipping top-tier Holy Water from a champagne flute.

"Ahaha, Chief God, relax. Thanks to him, Felsen’s ‘Server Load’ has hit a record low. Prejudice and conflict are just high-cost, inefficient processes. Master Zect deleted them all as ‘inefficient bugs,’ and now the world is incredibly clean!"

"It’s TOO clean! Because he declared that Humans, Elves, and Magic Races are all the same species, the 'Conflict Scenario' the gods spent tens of thousands of years preparing has been wiped! The entire story skipped from the Introduction straight to the Epilogue!"

With trembling hands, the Chief God bypassed the stomach medicine and chugged a bottle of the Divine Realm’s strongest undiluted Elixir.

"Lumina... that 'Authority: All in My Hands'... what are the actual specs on that thing? That rejection was so absolute... it’s as if he’s saying 'No rules but mine are needed' in this world..."

"Oh? You noticed? To be honest, it’s actually a toggle for 'Localhost Mode.' The area centered around his house isn't under your jurisdiction anymore, Chief God. It’s become a dedicated server—a [Private Cloud]. Even you can’t get in without a login password."

"..."

The Chief God dropped his Elixir bottle. As it shattered, he rolled his eyes back into his head.

In a world that was supposed to be the Garden of God, a "Developer’s Private Room" had been created—a place where even God couldn't interfere.

"...It’s over. He has obtained an 'Absolute Shield' stronger than any hero, any demon king, or any god in this world. And he’s a man who just wants to sit in that chair and sleep..."

"Isn't it great? It’s so peaceful!"

"Curse you, Hero... The 'Hero' system was meant to overcome unreasonable hardships, defy absurdity, and bring hope to the people. But look at her!"

The Chief God turned his resentful gaze toward the monitor.

The "Hero" (Tama)—the strongest piece on the board, the Divine Realm’s ultimate weapon—was currently lying on the lap of a man who refused to leave his house, purring happily.

"The Hero’s 'Trial' is a brushing session, and her 'Reward' is a can of cat food?! The very value of the Hero’s existence is being dissolved into the massive calculation of his 'Laziness'!"

"Oh, by the way, Chief God, look at this. It’s my performance review for this term! Look, a Triple S—the highest rating in the history of the Divine Realm! Rumor has it that eighty percent of the Realm’s total revenue is now coming from my sector, Felsen."

"Wh-wha... what?! You outranked ME?! My rating as the Chief God?! The hierarchy... the hierarchy is being inverted!"

"Don’t look so scared. Even if I get promoted and end up being your boss on the organizational chart, you’ll always be 'Chief God' to me!"

"Guh...!"

Ignoring the panic in the heavens, the night in Felsen deepened, quiet and profound.

On top of the rewritten blueprint of the world, the King of Laziness was now plunging into a sleep deeper and more peaceful than ever before.

Volume 4: Lazy Symbiosis — END

Continued in Volume 5: Governance of Sloth

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