Chapter Twenty-Two: Pyre

A box clenched tightly in my hands, I hop down from the hangar car onto the lukewarm ground. The moon, surrounded by stars and partially obscured by clouds, barely illuminates the pre-dawn world. The Maniac Magee sits silent behind me, purposefully left empty and lightless.

Brion is the only one that I have talked to since all of this went down. The SAI was extremely distressed at this entire situation, explaining that they knew both that David's heart has stopped and that I was undergoing my second Ignition at the same time. The issue was that Brion's own personal lack of saved medical knowledge wasn't enough to diagnose what was going on and my fear aura was preventing the two that did have the correct knowledge from even getting close to the Sleeper.

It's like a second knife in the chest to know that he was technically saveable but I prevented that as well.

The rest of the crew is gathered in a semicircle around an unlit pyre at the end of the depot’s concrete slab, raw emotions still tangibly hanging in the air. Liam is disconcertingly calm as he stares at his brother, a frown on his face but not much else visible. Brianna stands beside him with a hand on his shoulder, her small smile contradicted by the tear streaks staining her face. Sitting on the ground, Jun sobs as her tears continue to fall, her anguish having persisted for the last hour or so. Marcus sits close to her in silent companionship, his jaw clenched tight between occasional sips he takes from the bottle of vodka he holds onto for dear life.

Standing there I stare, and despite my knowledge that I need to walk towards them, my feet refuse to move. A cocktail of guilt, fear, and, unfortunately, envy swirls around within me, rancid and unceasing for the moment. For a second I consider placing the box down and heading back inside, as to not interrupt their grief. I’m not sure whether the thought is born from empathy or escapism, but I suppose it doesn’t matter.

In the end, I know it’s inevitable. Even with the paltry honor and pride I have left, it’s enough that I will not let myself walk away from this. No one here deserves that, especially not me. The easy way out is not an option.

Unsure of what to do, I take a moment to remove the lid of my box to glance inside. Six paper flowers sit there, each one a different species. When I started making these, I hadn’t thought they’d actually be used. They were supposed to be a time killer, something I did absentmindedly as I sat there and thought.

I hadn’t even had enough time to trim the extra paper from the last one.

Gritting my teeth, I force myself to walk forward. As I take a step though, I accidentally lose my grasp on my DE, and some of it flows into my ability. I can’t help but wince in unison with the crew as the pulse passes over them. They all turn towards me, each of their gazes filled with things that I don’t know how to categorize in this moment, before each inevitably looks away. I do my best to not wilt as I continue toward them, entirely aware that that probably looked incredibly selfish from their perspective.

Walking up to the unlit funeral pyre, I take a moment to look down at the man resting upon the charcoal logs. Strictly speaking, he looks better than he did when I came out of the dream. Part of that is because as I moved him here I shifted his expression from one of fear to one of rest, but the rest is because someone in the crew cleaned him up the best they could as they put him into a cheap but well fitting suit.

Taking a deep breath, I do my best to put my DE under control, restricting it from entering my power with all my mental strength. I open them once again to find the entire crew looking at me. My heart skips, and I have to look down and away from them.

“T-Thank you all for waiting,” I mutter, “I brought the flowers so that we can get started.”

For an awkward moment, nobody responds. I force myself stock still, trying my best to look strong and resolute in spite of everything. I don’t think it works.

The silence is broken by Marcus loudly slamming his bottle onto the ground as he stands up, a small scowl now having risen on his face. His DE flares up around him as he begins to approach me, his eyes shift into a pink-green gradient. Each of his steps is powerful, threatening in a way that I have never had someone approach me before. Marcus comes to stand right in front of me, our similar heights making it so that we are eye to eye.

“I’m tired of keeping up this damn facade. Tell me, Grim,” He growls, “why the fuck should I humor you right now?”

I shrink under his gaze as Brianna takes a step forward, concern on her face. “Marcus, it was an accident!”

Still glaring right into my eyes, he snaps back, “So was the first mistake she made that cost us time, cost us money, cost us time with our damn families!”

Brianna starts walking towards us as she protests, “It was literally her first day, first time using a modern Mecha! You can’t blame her for that!”

Scoffing, Marcus quickly gestures towards the pyre as he shouts, “I can and I will, specifically because of this being a side effect of that mistake!”

Brianna freezes, shock on her face. Jun squeaks, looking between us all with wide eyes.

Not letting up, Marcus turns, stomping towards Brianna. “You should be with me on this, Bri! David was a dad to me – to us!”

In the midst of this, Liam quietly mutters, “Marcus.”

He pauses in front of Brianna, undeterred. “Her damn carelessness killed him, and if we don’t take that into account she’ll kill us too! We need to–”

“Marcus!” The man in question freezes, turning towards the conductor. “Stand. down.”

“Liam, you can’t be serious!” Marcus frantically pleads, his hands waving. “He was your twin brother!”

“You don’t think I fucking know that!?”

Everyone but Liam flinches at that, and he starts to move towards me, slowly, but with purpose. “David and I worked this job for nearly our entire lives, entirely knowing the risks that come with it. We had long accepted that something like this may happen, and now that it has, I have to move on.”

The conductor pauses in front of me, then reaches into my box and pulls out a chrysanthemum, which he looks at with sadness. “But before I can do that, I have to pay my respects.”

Nobody says anything as Liam turns around and approaches the pyre.

“David. My Brother. My friend.”

Liam chokes up for a second, and has to calm himself. “Thank you, for being with me for all of our lives. Thank you, for not leaving me when we first learned that you would outlive me. Thank you, for being the light that guided me forward.”

Liam leans over, placing the flower upon David’s chest. “May you rest in peace.”

Without another word, the conductor walks away, heading towards the front of the train. We all watch his back for a moment, before Marcus clicks his tongue and approaches me again. As he reaches into the box and takes out an iris, he whispers to me:

“I’m watching you, Grim.”

The man then turns, and after a few seconds of whispering, all of which I can’t parse, he places the flower down. Moving back to his bottle, he flops down onto the ground and takes a deep swig. His DE continues to flare, an unspoken threat that he knows I can feel.

Brianna is next, approaching me with a sad smile and what almost seems like pity in her eyes. “I’m sorry about Marcus, he gets like this when he’s drunk.”

I shake my head. “I don’t blame him, he’s right.”

Brianna’s smile fades. “You shouldn’t treat yourself that harshly, Minea.”

“N-No Bri, neither of you even know the full of it. I’ve made so many truly awful errors in the last few days, this is just, just-” My words refuse to continue as I choke on them. I shakily reach up to find that I’m crying, and I forcibly shut my mouth as I wipe them away.

“The piece de résistance?” Brianna offers in assistance. I hesitantly nod.

She reaches out and pats me on my shoulder, then pulls a pansy out from the box as she turns to the pyre.

“David, while I don’t agree with everything that he said, Marcus was right about one thing. You were like a father to me, I’m sure you know what that means to me in particular.” Brianna sniffles. “I-I don’t have much else to say. Thank you, dad. Rest well.”

Brianna stands there for a moment longer, places the flower down, then returns to her spot. I stare at her for a few moments longer, considering how little I truly know about any of these people, then flinch when Jun clears her throat beside me. She’s managed to stop crying for the moment apparently, and seems intent on getting this over with in the brief interstitial she has gained. Neither of us say anything as she reaches into the box, removes a lotus and a freesia, then walks over and places them onto David’s body.

My heart somehow drops further as she sobs once again.

And with that, there’s only one flower left in the box. The one I didn’t get a chance to truly finish. Taking a deep breath, I take it into my hands, gently place the box on the ground, then walk forward to the pyre. I stare down at the man and the flowers laying upon his body.

Is this truly something I deserve to do? I was the cause of his death, the reason for all of my coworkers pain. If anything, I should give Marcus this flower and –

I take a quick, sharp breath to calm myself.

Not the time to spiral Minea.

After.

I clear my throat, then hold the marigold up towards the sky. The red flower waves in the light breeze, contrasting deeply against the silver hued moon hanging above.

Unsure of what to say, I say the first words that come to my mind. “The first time I had to choose a flower for someone, I didn’t know what I was doing. My mother had died, and when offered a choice I picked a rose. When I learned about flower language later, I cringed so, so hard.”

I ruefully smile. “You probably would have enjoyed that story, I think. It may be the only one that was left, the only one that nobody else chose, but I think this marigold represents quite well what I learned about you in that short time that we had before this happened. Warmth. Positivity. Optimism. You were the guiding star that this crew followed, and I took you from them, and for that I’m so, so sorry.”

I hold the flower out, then let it fall onto the body. Reaching down, I pick up the blowtorch that someone had placed here sometime earlier. Words spoken by someone wiser than I rise up in my mind, inspiration that I know I can't ignore.

“Once, decades ago, you went through your first Ignition, yet chose your brother over ambition. Now, in death, you will once again come alight, and in memories may you guide your children to a better tomorrow.”

With a simple press of a finger, the flame bursts out of the torch and begins to turn the charcoal white. It takes a few seconds, but soon that first log is hot enough to burn, which quickly spreads to the others as well. I take a step back and place the torch into the box, whispering the only five words left to say.

“May you rest in peace.”

If you find any errors (non-standard content, ads redirect, broken links, etc..), Please let us know so we can fix it as soon as possible.