Chapters

All chapters

Chapter 1 – In Which Peter Suffers an Utterly Disastrous Blind Date at the Mall3 weeks ago · 6 min read
Chapter 2 – The Blind Date Ends with a Berserker Reindeer Dashing Peter’s Brains Out3 weeks ago · 6 min read
Chapter 3 – In Which Our Concussed Doomer First Encounters the Beloved Gift-Giver Santa Claus and Freaks the F*ck Out3 weeks ago · 9 min read
Chapter 4 – In Which Peter is Stripped Naked, Treated for Hypothermia, and Dumped with Exposition3 weeks ago · 6 min read
Chapter 5 – Yumeka the Maid Elf & the Food Porn Bacchanalia in the Dining Hall3 weeks ago · 7 min read
Chapter 6 – In Which Tchaikovsky Returns from the Grave & Peter is Harassed by 1,000 Boy Crazy Elves3 weeks ago · 8 min read
Chapter 7 — Peter Simps for an Adorable Mouse Girl and Gets What All Simps Deserve3 weeks ago · 7 min read
Chapter 8 – In Which Peter is Betrayed by an Itsy-Bitsy 3-Inch Tall Mouse Girl3 weeks ago · 8 min read
Chapter 9 — Concerning Peter’s Tour of Santa’s Workshop wherein He Meets Penguins & A Mad Bomber Elf3 weeks ago · 7 min read
Chapter 10 — Wherein Peter Discovers Yuina the Coding Elf Harbors Secret Feelings for Him3 weeks ago · 8 min read
Chapter 11 — An Unexpected but Completely Necessary Interruption by the Yechdel Test3 weeks ago · 10 min read
Chapter 12 — Concerning the Time Santa Gave Peter a Magical Weapon of Unimaginable Destructive Power3 weeks ago · 6 min read
Chapter 13 — In Which Valkyrie Elf Yuzuka Goads Peter into Reluctantly Doing a Penguin Genocide3 weeks ago · 9 min read
Chapter 14 — The Misadventure with the Snow Witch Who was Accidentally Brought to Life3 weeks ago · 7 min read
Chapter 15 — The Snow Witch Abducts Peter to Torture Him with Love and Affection and Frost Bite3 weeks ago · 5 min read
Chapter 16 — The Yandere Snow Witch Yearns Dearly for Affection and Resorts to Violence3 weeks ago · 5 min read
Chapter 17 — Foulmouthed Master Chef Yuika Berates Peter for Destroying All Her Mousetraps3 weeks ago · 8 min read
Chapter 18 — The Ghost of Christmas Past Abducts Peter to Show Him Two Horrible Christmases of Olde3 weeks ago · 8 min read
Chapter 19 — The Ghost of Christmas Past Shows Peter A Wonderful Christmas Night He Doesn’t Remember3 weeks ago · 6 min read
Chapter 20 — In Which Several Elves Invade Peter’s Bedroom for Cuddles and Lewd Nocturnal Activities3 weeks ago · 8 min read
Chapter 21 — Relating to Iumina, the Thottiest of the Christmas Elves, and her Attempt to Woo Peter3 weeks ago · 6 min read
Chapter 22 — Relating to the Adventure with Master Yukina’s Reindeer3 weeks ago · 10 min read
Chapter 23 — The Unfortunate Mishap with the Sledge Peter Smashed to Tiny Bits3 weeks ago · 8 min read
Chapter 24 — In Which Peter is Shrunk Down by the Mice Girls and Witnesses a Christmas Miracle3 weeks ago · 9 min read
Chapter 25 — In Which the Mommy Dommy Mouse Queen Strikes a Bargain with Peter3 weeks ago · 7 min read
Chapter 26 — In which Tiny Peter & the Mouse Girl Discover a Spy in Santa’s Workshop3 weeks ago · 8 min read
Chapter 27 — Peter Has a Frightening Experience with Jumeau, the Creepy Porcelain Doll Girl3 weeks ago · 8 min read
Chapter 28 — Peter Has an Erotic Experience with Ballet Elves & a Cringe Experience with Tchaikovsky3 weeks ago · 7 min read
Chapter 29 — In Which Santa’s Reindeer Magick Themselves into Reindeer Girls3 weeks ago · 7 min read
Chapter 30 — The Sad & Pathetic Tale of Rurirorera, the Most Unfortunate Reindeer with a Facial Deformity3 weeks ago · 5 min read
Chapter 31 — A Gratuitous Bath with 500 Salacious Elf Girls In a Chapter Both Incredibly Tasteful & Necessary to the Plot3 weeks ago · 6 min read
Chapter 32 — Concerning the Romantic Hot Springs Dip with Santa Claus3 weeks ago · 6 min read
Chapter 33 — A Frightful Visitation from Bible Accurate Messengers of the Holy Spirit3 weeks ago · 6 min read
Chapter 34 — Regarding Peter’s Visit of Santa Claus’ Bed Chambers & The Battle Plans Discussed3 weeks ago · 4 min read
Chapter 35 — Concerning the Gingerbread Man Holocaust & Elf Chef Yuika’s Recipe for Cookies3 weeks ago · 10 min read
Chapter 36 — Comfy, Cozy, Christmas Days & the Identity of the Christian Spy is Unmasked3 weeks ago · 8 min read
Chapter 37 — In Which The Spy Nearly Kills Peter with a Booby Trap3 weeks ago · 5 min read
Chapter 38 — Concerning the Super Romantic Date with Santa Claus3 weeks ago · 8 min read
Chapter 39 — In Which the Idiotic Penguin Queen of the South Pole Invades Santa’s Territory2 weeks ago · 5 min read
Chapter 40 — Concerning Christmas Elf Iumika’s Attempt to Usurp the Penguin Queen’s Throne2 weeks ago · 5 min read
Chapter 41 — Peter Pays $10,000,000,000 in Reparations to the Penguin Queen & Instantly Regrets It1 week ago · 6 min read
Chapter 42 — In Which Mouse Girl Squee Sneaks into Peter’s Bed at Night Without his Consent5 days ago · 7 min read