Chapter 26 – Sacred Priestess Conquest Begins (III)

[Romani Oyama]

I was starting to think I had masochistic tendencies.

First thing in the morning, I was running through the streets of Kuoh.

But what I was doing wasn't exactly running. It was destroying my body and then rebuilding it by sheer force.

I could probably be reported to the authorities for abuse, even being both the victim and the abuser at the same time.

How many meters had I run? A lot. The answer was definitely a lot.

But even with my body aching, it was far more bearable thanks to the minor healing and resistance potions I was also abusing without the slightest remorse.

The most entertaining part was watching the citizens of Kuoh stare at me like I was insane, completely drenched in sweat.

Not that I cared about other people's stares.

I mentally flipped them off and kept running without slowing down.

However, while I was focused on the rhythm of my run, a hand grazed my shoulder, which nearly gave me a full-blown heart attack. I turned my head to the side and found Koneko Toujou keeping pace with me without the slightest effort, her fingers still lightly resting on my shoulder as if it were the most natural thing in the world.

"..."

It wasn't great for my self-esteem to see her matching my pace like we were taking a casual stroll through a park.

I guess speed wasn't my thing. Sorry, Lightning McQueen. I have disgraced your legacy.

I stopped, my legs screaming in pain, and my eyes fell on her.

Koneko was wearing Kuoh Academy's gym uniform: a white gym shirt hugging her body tightly, tracing soft contours, and blue shorts that clung like a second skin around her rounded hips, perfectly embracing every curve.

I couldn't help but cast a look of pure gratitude toward the genius who designed that uniform. A man truly ahead of his time.

As that pious thought crossed my mind, I slowed my steps and walked toward her.

"Koneko, what are you doing here?" I asked, genuinely curious, trying to ignore my legs, which had already begun negotiating my surrender.

"Training." The words left her lips with an infuriating calm. Not a single drop of sweat on her face. "Why are you walking?"

Walking!?

I was running at my absolute maximum speed. With that single word, she fired an arrow straight into my pride, and my body seized the opportunity to finally collapse. If I weren't so lazy, I might have actually taken those words to heart.

"..."

Koneko blinked, staring at me with something that vaguely resembled concern, while I crumbled like the Tower of Babel onto a bench.

Man. I really needed to work on my physical conditioning.

After my moment of shame, I was sitting on a bench like a damp rag, with Koneko beside me, staring at me with a mixture of silent curiosity and concern.

I took a few deep breaths and opened a recovery potion.

"What's that?" she asked, pointing to the vial.

"My drink." Koneko narrowed her eyes and pouted. Finding it amusing, I moved my hand toward her head with the intention of ruffling her hair, but she dodged it with a sharp smack.

Cute.

"Haha, I was just kidding. No need to be so grumpy. Here, my bad." I pulled a cookie out of my bag and handed it to her. Her eyes lit up in the same fraction of a second the cookie vanished from my hand. Laughing softly, I kept handing more to the hungry little cat while taking the opportunity to pet her head, this time without resistance.

"...Forgiven," she said dryly, before resuming her chewing with her characteristic seriousness. I'd miss those cookies, but I didn't mind sacrificing a few sweets to earn affection points with this beauty. The fact that she let out a faint moan while eating my cookies was just a bonus.

"Well, I thank you, esteemed lady, for granting me the gift of your mercy." Koneko shot me a look that clearly translated to don't push it, while I lightly ruffled her hair.

She was genuinely adorable devouring my sweets like that. It almost made up for losing the cookies.

Almost.

"Well, it was a pleasure seeing you here, Koneko-chan, but I have things to take care of. You can keep the rest. Consider it a gift from me."

Koneko nodded as I resumed my run.

Nothing could stop me from reaching my goals.

✧°✦°✧===✧°✦°✧===✧°✦°✧

Dragging my feet, I finally made it home.

Even completely exhausted, I was still hungry thanks to a certain white-haired girl who had made off with my cookies.

And even with a body yearning to lose itself in the haze of idleness, I decided to make a simple fish cake.

I opened the fridge and pulled out a piece of fish. It wasn't the most sophisticated fish, but it would do perfectly.

I placed it on the cutting board and, calmly, began shredding the tender meat, picking out any bones that might have gone unnoticed.

In a bowl, I mixed the shredded fish with some mashed potato, finely chopped onion, and a generous pinch of salt. I also added a little parsley for color and aroma. With a spoon, I mashed everything together until it formed a simple but cohesive mixture.

I lightly wet my hands and began shaping small cakes, pressing the mixture carefully so it wouldn't fall apart. Then I rolled each one in breadcrumbs, creating a thin coating that promised to turn golden and crispy.

I placed a pan on the stove with some oil and waited patiently until it was good and hot. When the first cake touched the oil, a soft sizzle filled the kitchen, and gradually they began to brown.

Minutes later, I removed the cakes and let them rest on some paper to drain the excess oil. The aroma took over the kitchen, sharpening my appetite even further. But before I could grab a cake, I noticed a black cat staring at me through the window.

"..."

"..."

We stared at each other in silence. For several seconds, the eyes of a nearly dead man met the eyes of a cat.

Seriously, a black cat? Bad luck. At least it looked pretty cute.

While I was thinking that, the black cat simply leapt through the open window, landed on the table, and snatched one of the fish cakes with an absurd nonchalance, tossing it into its own mouth as if it were the most natural thing in the world.

The cat and I stared at each other again while she casually took another bite of the cake.

A sigh escaped my lips, along with an involuntary smile.

"You're hungry, aren't you, little one?" The cat simply tilted its head in my direction before going back to eating my fish cakes without the slightest ceremony.

"Well, I hope you enjoy my fish cakes, you greedy little thing."

"Meow!" The black cat lifted her head and looked at me with a rather presumptuous air.

She seemed way too human for a cat.

As I watched her, she bit into my cakes as if they were hers, occasionally letting out a satisfied purr.

"Seriously? I guess at this rate I won't manage to eat anything, will I?" Amusing myself with her, I raised my hand and took a few bites of what remained of my cakes.

"Meow! (Of course not, human!)"

Obviously, she wasn't actually talking to me. It was all part of my imagination, just to have a little fun before heading out to meet the golden-haired girl.

Watching my fish cakes disappear at an impressive speed, I crossed my arms.

Since when had my soul become charitable enough to feed wild animals? But considering that cats were the supreme life form, it seemed somewhat fair. Yes, I liked cats far more than dogs... the title of man's best friend belongs to the felines.

"If you keep eating like that, you're going to get fat." Munching on my cake, I reached forward and poked her little nose.

The moment my finger grazed her snout, she raised her paw and batted my hand away with a gesture of pure arrogance.

"Meow! (Arrogant human!)"

"Okay! Okay!" I raised my hands in surrender. "But since you're eating my food, I think I should at least give you a name, don't you?" Seeing that I was being ignored while the black cat continued to devour my cakes, I crossed my arms over my chest and tilted my head to the side, thinking.

"What do you think of Kurokagami!?"

The cat's eyes went wide and, for some reason, its whole body stiffened, almost as if I had stolen the food right out of its mouth.

"Bah. Seems like you didn't like it. Well, it really does sound a bit dull." I shrugged, broke off a piece of cake, tossed half into my own mouth and gave the other half to her. "Fine. From now on, your name is Kuro McPaws III."

The cat lifted her head and blinked, staring at me as if I were a complete idiot.

"What?" I crossed my arms. "I'm not changing my mind. That will be your official name: Kuro McPaws III." Lazily, I extended my hand and grazed her snout, making her recoil and scratch my fingers with an irritated hiss.

"Wow! What sharp claws, oh my God!" Being a cat lover, I didn't mind a few scratches.

"Haha. Don't be so cruel to me, Kuro McPaws III." Kuro hissed at me again. "You look a lot like your ancestors. They were quite feisty too, especially Kuro the First, before he got run over by a truck." My pets had a thing for being chased by vehicles. Now that I think about it, didn't I also die getting hit by a truck? I hope not. That would be a bit too generic.

The cat tilted her head at me.

"Meow~" Kuro III rubbed against my hand, bringing a smile to my lips.

Cats really are the cutest creatures in the world.

Kuro sniffed my hand and rubbed against it again, making me laugh as I absentmindedly stroked her soft fur. She seemed to like my scent... I took that as a compliment.

"You're a little pervert, aren't you?"

"Meow!" For some reason, I got the feeling Kuro was giving me an ironic smile.

Didn't this cat really seem way too human?

While that thought crossed my mind, she finished off my fish cakes. Good thing I didn't have much of an appetite, otherwise I'd certainly be going hungry again.

Smiling, I kept petting Kuro McPaws III.

Author's Note: Cats are the ultimate life form. This is an objective fact, scientifically proven beyond any reasonable doubt. Cats steal your food, scratch your hands, and completely ignore you. Honestly, how could anyone not love these magnificent felines?

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